Day 09 - Choices

When I started this blog I wanted it to be something that people would enjoy reading, but I changed my mind. It will be more 'personal' and probably not particularly interesting; so if you don't have something to say, and only comment so I'll comment back, don't. Just a side note. Also the new template looks so much better compared to the one I had before. Still not perfect but there's always place for improvement!


I was just thinking about these years I spent in high school and how I've never been the first one in my class. And I never was because of a stupid reason: I didn't care about school. It sounds dumb, but all I cared was to pass the year. Despite that, my lowest GPA I ever had was 9,10 - or something close to that. I think I've made some wrong decisions; the subjects I do the best in are English, French and Romanian. And I'm in a science class.

I like anatomy, it's basically the only subject I study because I want to, but I don't like my teacher and my teacher doesn't like me - which makes the whole situation shitty. I like chemistry, but I have this teacher that doesn't really care if we study or not - so technically I've passed through these years based on my excellent cheating skills. The young and stupid me never thought that I might need it if I'll go to med school, so I never learned it. I mean I know I could, I just don't have the motivation (though getting accepted into uni should do it); I keep saying I'll start tomorrow - this happening since June.


When I had to choose which high school to go to, I kind of randomly picked one. I had good grades so I could have gone to any HS in my city but (there always is a but) I didn't know what I wanted to do further. So I applied to the one I'm in now, only for the social profile - so the main subjects were history, languages, psychology and philosophy. What I didn't know was that we were only going to do psychology in the 11th grade and philosophy in the 12th, leaving economy for 10th and logic for 9th. I hated that class, everything was boring and my classmates were awful - apparently they all went there because it was easier. So after the first semester I transferred into the science class.


And then the fun began .. I wanted things to get hard? Oh, they did. From 1 hour of math, chem and physics, I got to 3 of each. I was behind with everything - and who was to wait for me? Not to mention I still wasn't interested in studying.. that until one day, when my physics teacher told me that I'm stupid and I don't belong into a science class and that I should go back to the class I came from. That infuriated me limitless. There's no better way to motivate me but by challenging me. When someone tells me I can't do something I'll do it just to prove it wrong - even if it's not in my advantage, even if it's hard, even if it takes years. Yeah, I am that stubborn.


Long story short I learned pretty much everything that was to learn, then we had a test, and when she brought the results mine was the best paper, and she was like ‘I want to apologies for what I’ve told you, but I really thought you were stupid. Plain dumb. An idiot. Really. But now, you proved me that you’re smart and you don’t memorize word by word, because the answers you had in the test were logic, and not paraphrases from the notebook.’ and bla bla's like that. Ever since that happened, I was the best in class at physics, always solving problems and stuff. It didn't last too long, after one year our teacher retired (she was REALLY old) so there practically was no reason for me to keep studying it.


In the 10th grade something that I'm rather ashamed of happened - I failed my math class. It
was partly my fault - for not studying it hard enough - but by the end of the year I actually put effort in being active during class, solving exercises and things like that. But that wasn't enough - and here comes the bomb. My math teacher is a pedophile (and no one's doing anything about it). He has nothing with guys, they can pass even if they don't know elementary things, but he 'chooses' a few girls he likes every year .. and yeah, if you don't fuck him you don't pass. It's pretty sad that some of my colleagues actually chosen that over studying during summer and passing an exam, and what's even sadder is that the principal knows about this whole situation but she won't do anything about it because this teacher is very important - also a uni teacher, inspector and shit like that. It made me real mad; it made me feel stupid because I knew more mathematics than half my class but still I didn't pass. But I wasn't gonna let a 70 years old horny pedo bear touch me either. He was pretty mad, only I and another girl didn't choose the easy way. He still hates me to this day. One time we had this test, and I knew to solve some exercise no one in class knew, but I had some mistake at another exercise, so he gave me a nine with a star. Seriously? I won't have 10 at maths but at least I still have my pride.

Pedo Bear does not approve.