Don't want to be one of them, but can't live being different either.

Feeling incredibly weird, useless, boring, mundane and bleak. It's like everything I say or do, I have already said or done before; every movement seems so mechanical, almost like a pattern my body follows. And my mind is driving me into insanity - or something that is close to that. Thoughts are messed up and unclear, but mostly negative. What do I do now?

A tremendous wave of nothingness hit me

.. and it felt great. What I previously typed was a lie; not in its entirety though. If we were to live a hedonistic life style, would we be truly happy? Or would it get repetitive after a while? Is it possible to get bored of 'fulfilling' your own pleasures? Would we be able to find so many things to enjoy so that we wouldn't get bored? Well it certainly wouldn't be considered 'moral', and I doubt it would fit too many people - yes, I truly believe some people are banned from happiness and self pleasure, or some people choose to do so themselves. Also, I tend to believe that hedonism equals self destruction. Anyway, what I wanted to get to is the following question - would this type of life style be fulfilling enough to provide ourselves that well-being feeling? And something more, if hypothetically that'd be possible, wouldn't people miss sadness? I mean yeah, I know sadness isn't the nicest feeling in the world, but sadness can be infinitely beautiful. Is this too much of a paradox..? I don't even know, all I have are questions, questions I constantly ask myself, so my mind won't slip into insanity.